Oh motivation, where art thou?

I can’t seem to get my shit together to save my life. How hard is it to squeeze in 30-60 minutes of exercise into my precious lazy, couch sitting, cupcake face-stuffing time?

Very hard it would seem…

Everyday is a new day and the longer I put it off the longer I’ll be fat, unhappy with myself and miserable… Because the daily aches and pains of living in an obese body, feeling gross, not fitting into cute clothes and looking like crap are miserable things, let me tell you…

On days when the daunting task of losing weight seems impossible, and refusing that frosty beer with a side of chips and queso seem completely unfair (Eff you, skinny bitches who can ingest whatever you want), those are the days I need to dig deep and push ourselves further. Because one day I will also be a skinny bitch, and though I may not be able to eat whatever I want (Eff those ho’s who can anyway), I will easily be able to pass up what ever scrumdidlyumptious fair is in front of me… And not care. In fact, I’ll relish in the thought that though some can eat what ever they want, most can not. So while I’m passing on the heavenly badness that likes to stick to my hips, I won’t feel bad because I’ll know that while I’m not gaining weight, they are. 😉

So here I am, sick as a dog (thank you co-worker who doesn’t believe in calling in sick😠) and feeling *this* close to just eating off plan to make me feel better, but thankfully not willing to have to restart… Again. There is always a bright side. I’ve stayed strong for 4 days in a row, even while sick. It shows that I do actually have a choice in this. I can decide to stay fat by doing what I’ve always done or I can stay the course and see this through.

Only I can make it happen. It’s my choice. That’s the beauty of it.

I’ve been thinking about having weight loss surgery (hubby even said I should “seriously look into it”, ugh). The fact of the matter is that I don’t need to have my stomach stapled, what I need is to get off my ass!!
I don’t think that weight loss surgery is the easy way out, not after the first few months anyway, but when I read about people who have been trying to get approved for the surgery for more than a year or two I can’t help but think that if only they spent half as much effort into eating right and exercise as they did thinking about surgery and trying to get approved then they probably wouldn’t even need the surgery. Am I right or am I right?

So, instead if feeling sorry for myself and playing the pity card, it’s time I looked at the big picture and took charge of my life and my future. Period. No matter what, it’s time to put myself first.

Till next time…

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