Day 3 On Track

First things first: Day 3, I’m still on track, and feeling better already. Still not 100% but I’m less bloated and feeling semi-cute again. Isn’t it silly how being on track or off track with our diet or exercise regimen can totally make or break your day… your week… or in my case, your month… I’m tired of my weight determining my mood, and even more, I’m tired of it determining my self-worth.

While out marketing today I met a girl who had a lot of success on Atkins in the past – she had lost 90 lbs in 6 months, but regained some with her last pregnancy… four years later, she’s still got 30 lbs to go. I’ve got about 95 lbs to go to my goal… She suggested we do a weight loss challenge, $100 in the pot each, the person who loses the most at the end of two months wins. It may just be us, we might get others to join in… It sounds good and all, and in my mind, being the overachiever I am, I imagine how I will rock my workouts and conquer my bad eating habits, just like that…

In reality, it wouldn’t really go like that. I’d start out gung-ho for a few days, maybe a week… and then the pressure will start to get to me. I’ll fall off track and end up just as fat and lighter by $100. But alas, this may also be an opportunity to continue to grow this relationship… so I’ll probably do it.

During my marketing excursion this morning, I was complaining to the marketing rep I was with that one of the other marketing reps for my company doesn’t seem to like me much, or at least doesn’t seem interested in marketing me much. She said, don’t let him get to you, he only markets cute, small girls who are marketable… Then she paused for a moment and I could almost see her hand hit her forehead as she laughed and said, oh my god, I didn’t mean you’re not cute! and I just looked at her, if she could read my expression it would have simply read REALLY bitch?!in which she replied, you are very cute, and you’re marketable to me!… She could have said anything to try to cover her ass, but it was already out there – and like all things that are already out there, you can never take them back. Honestly, I can’t really say that this bothered me much. I know that being fit and cute makes you more marketable, after all, it’s not rocket science. People are attracted to attractive people. I have been on both sides of that spectrum – I’ve been the small(er) cute girl, and I’ve been not so small cute girl. And I can tell you, the small(er) cute girl wins out most of the time… Sure, there are times when personality wins, which luckily, I must have at least a little personality because I’ve managed to pick up a handful of new clients, while being in my larger unmarketable body…

With all that said, in addition to the many reason of why I need and want to lose weight, I also need to do it for my job. The truth is, I will probably do even better if I were a normal weight. Of course looks are not everything, but they help a lot… Of course I can’t be a thin dingbat – that won’t get me anywhere. I need to balance my knowledge, personality, and everything else.



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