Goals

It seems that more and more the idea of making New Year resolutions is taboo, it seems that every other article I’m reading right now is anti the “New Year, New Me” mantra.

I personally don’t get that. I am a goal setter from way back. To me, making a new goal is like lighting a little burner that sits way down inside me. Without goals, or a purpose if you will, I feel listless with no direction or motivation. Even if I don’t reach my goal I don’t let that get me down too much, goals are not always meant to be reached. If something is truly important to you then there should not be an end time frame. For some goals, of course you can have an end in mind, for example: this week I will not gossip or say anything negative. The end time to that is one week. Then you can do it again or tweak it a little bit. But your life goals may not be so easily reached.

To me, goals that are easily reach within a short amount of time are important in building the life you want or becoming the person you want to be, but life goals will (obviously) be life changing. If your life goal is easily reached then it wasn’t big enough.

I make resolutions and goals throughout the year, without a constant game plan I’m not sure where I’d be. To some, that may sound tiring but to be its exciting. I am addicted to that feeling you get when you have a new goal, to that feeling you get when you realize that you are THAT much closer to your goal because you’re doing something about it. And of course, nothing is more rewarding than when you accomplish a goal, especially when it’s a big game changing goal.

I love New Years, so much that I think that it’s actually becoming my favorite holiday. We very rarely go out on New Year’s Eve, I’ve always felt that ending and beginning a New Year should be done with those you love, to me it sets the tone for the whole year. This year I rang in the New Year in bed with a migraine, but instead of thinking that this is a sign of how my year is going to go, I choose to let it be motivation of how I don’t want to end up next year. Ok, I get that we don’t always have control over migraines, etc, but I do feel that my lifestyle leads to the amount of migraines I’ve been getting. My food choices – which has been everything and anything for the last few months, causes me to get headaches. Lack of exercise and movement causes me to get headaches. I know that stress also causes them, I think this week it started due to stress (we almost got robbed at work and that started the light pounding in my head), followed by chocolate – I never eat chocolate because 99% of the time it gives me a migraine, and this time was no exception.

New Years is becoming my favorite holiday because it’s the beginning of a new slate. Of course it’s always a little sad putting another year behind you, everyone is a year older and if you have kids, it’s another year with them that you can never get back. That is the sad part. But the exciting part is whipping your slate clean, take the highlights of your previous year and tuck them into your heart as you move on to your next chapter. A new year is a new opportunity where anything can happen!

So no, I don’t get why so many people are anti New Year resolutions. I think it’s because they are tired of letting themselves down when they fail, but who cares if you fail? Get up and try again! Tweak your resolution if you need to, remember that you’re doing it for YOU, and you are worth fighting for.

With that said, here are my resolutions for the year:

  1. Lose 100+ lbs. I always have health and fitness goals, it’s my #1 motivator – I love it! I got off track in October when we were in Hawaii and haven’t been able to get back on track since. I am officially getting back on track starting Monday. Low(er) carb, Shakeology, no added sugar, no white carbs, limited dairy and gluten.
  2. Exercise – my goal is to exercise 5-7 days a week, but if I’m slacking, and I very well may be, then I will not go more than 2 days without exercising – which means 3 days a week minimum.
  3. Drink 100 oz of water day. This is a goal, not a must. No need to beat myself up if I don’t do this.
  4. To close a minimum of $50k more a month than I am now (in revenue).
  5. To work on other side projects daily – not disclosing these yet… 🙂
  6. Spend more quality time with family, which means less TV, tablet, and computer use at home!
  7. Change my daily habit of coming home and getting into my PJ’s and vegging on the couch all night. This started when I first started gaining weight a few years ago, I was depressed and unmotivated. I’m no longer depressed or unmotivated, now I’m just lazy! I’m even too lazy to cook most nights, which I never was before. Obviously I will have my moments of weakness but for the most part, my goal is no TV. Instead, I’ll workout, clean, make dinner, and/or do something fun with the family. In short: Stay busy and burn calories!
  8. Quit being a negative person at work and quit gossiping!! I get sucked into conversations and the next thing I know I have a million little secrets to keep. I hate that. I want to mind my own business and just kick ass!!

That’s it! … for now.

Remember that resolutions are goals, not a life sentence. Go into this with an open mind and enjoy the process! You’re doing this for you, remember your why, this is not a punishment, but an opportunity to have a more rewarding life. 

We got this… 

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Off the Sadle

Well shoot! I’m off track again! lol…

Hubby made a good point this afternoon during lunch (Pei Wei), I was telling him that I hoped he liked it so we could go back… then I paused and said, actually, I hope you don’t like it, because if we come back then that means that I’m still off track… Then he said, when will you get that you don’t have to deny yourself foods to be on track… And I knew he was right. Its always all or nothing with me. Not a little, not a bit, not a nibble, not a lick… because any one of those will lead to a full blown binge that will last from days to months… And I know that is not normal. Knowing that makes me wonder if something is seriously wrong with me…

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if I would just eat a little, or have normal portions. I remember when I was in high school I would go to Sadie’s with a friend and her parents. Her mom was one of those naturally thin, petite, cute ladies that looked 10 years younger than she was. She’d have a margarita and one taco… ONE. I remember thinking, who eats one taco? She did.. every single time. And she was completely fine and content with it. The other night we got tacos from Garcia’s and I think I had five… That’s right, I said five!! LOL. It wasn’t one of my shinning moments, but honestly, who has one taco? Is that the secret to being thin? Ignoring your WANT for five tacos and tell yourself you are content with ONE. I don’t know… How do I convince myself that I am completely fine and content with one?

I’m a broken record again, because I’m about to say I need to exercise and how much I want to exercise. I want to be a runner, but I have a chronic ankle problem that REALLY flares up when I’m eating gluten, strangely enough. It has gotten really bad the last few weeks… I need to go back to gluten free – and low carb, because really I feel so much better and can move so much better, which ultimately will help me exercise!! If I would just quit being so darn lazy.

Well, I guess that’s it for tonight. I just wanted to say that I suck and fell off the wagon again… This is how it happened: I was at a networking party for work at the country club, I had a few too many drinks… then afterwards we went to a bar for one last drink… and then we ordered dinner, I thought I was being good ordering the Cajun rubbed ribs (appetizer), which was 5 ribs… when they came they were covered in BBQ sauce, and honestly, they tasted like freezer. I was starving and ate them anyway… Then on my way home, I decided f*ck it, I’m starving and got a small quesadilla from Taco Cabana… it was GOOD! I scarfed that down on my way home, and when I got home, I made myself puke. I’m not sure if it was because I didn’t want to be sick the next day, or if didn’t want those carbs inside me… Maybe a little bit of both… So anyway, the next day I was ready to get back on track, but the girls at the office wanted to get Dion’s – where I could have gotten a salad and been FINE, but instead, I got a 6″ meatball sub (kinda nasty) and a fruit cup… then for dinner, 5 tacos… That was Friday. It’s now Sunday, and I’m not doing any better. I want to get back on track and feel better, but I also want the freedom to eat and ENJOY my food.

Ugh!! WHAT IS THE ANSWER!?! 😦

So, there you have you have it. Am I off track by eating carbs? Or can I eat carbs and still be on track and still lose weight? Why can’t I figure this out??

 

 

Day 3 On Track

First things first: Day 3, I’m still on track, and feeling better already. Still not 100% but I’m less bloated and feeling semi-cute again. Isn’t it silly how being on track or off track with our diet or exercise regimen can totally make or break your day… your week… or in my case, your month… I’m tired of my weight determining my mood, and even more, I’m tired of it determining my self-worth.

While out marketing today I met a girl who had a lot of success on Atkins in the past – she had lost 90 lbs in 6 months, but regained some with her last pregnancy… four years later, she’s still got 30 lbs to go. I’ve got about 95 lbs to go to my goal… She suggested we do a weight loss challenge, $100 in the pot each, the person who loses the most at the end of two months wins. It may just be us, we might get others to join in… It sounds good and all, and in my mind, being the overachiever I am, I imagine how I will rock my workouts and conquer my bad eating habits, just like that…

In reality, it wouldn’t really go like that. I’d start out gung-ho for a few days, maybe a week… and then the pressure will start to get to me. I’ll fall off track and end up just as fat and lighter by $100. But alas, this may also be an opportunity to continue to grow this relationship… so I’ll probably do it.

During my marketing excursion this morning, I was complaining to the marketing rep I was with that one of the other marketing reps for my company doesn’t seem to like me much, or at least doesn’t seem interested in marketing me much. She said, don’t let him get to you, he only markets cute, small girls who are marketable… Then she paused for a moment and I could almost see her hand hit her forehead as she laughed and said, oh my god, I didn’t mean you’re not cute! and I just looked at her, if she could read my expression it would have simply read REALLY bitch?!in which she replied, you are very cute, and you’re marketable to me!… She could have said anything to try to cover her ass, but it was already out there – and like all things that are already out there, you can never take them back. Honestly, I can’t really say that this bothered me much. I know that being fit and cute makes you more marketable, after all, it’s not rocket science. People are attracted to attractive people. I have been on both sides of that spectrum – I’ve been the small(er) cute girl, and I’ve been not so small cute girl. And I can tell you, the small(er) cute girl wins out most of the time… Sure, there are times when personality wins, which luckily, I must have at least a little personality because I’ve managed to pick up a handful of new clients, while being in my larger unmarketable body…

With all that said, in addition to the many reason of why I need and want to lose weight, I also need to do it for my job. The truth is, I will probably do even better if I were a normal weight. Of course looks are not everything, but they help a lot… Of course I can’t be a thin dingbat – that won’t get me anywhere. I need to balance my knowledge, personality, and everything else.

 

Back On Track

Day one was a success! (Food wise)… By the end of the day I felt a little less bloated, but woke up this morning feeling just as fat, bloated, and puffy as before. I know it’ll get better, I just have to keep going. Today I have lunch plans at Chipotle with a friend, not the best choice for debloating, but I can make the best of it. I’ll have to be sure to only eat half, maybe the kiddo can make a small burrito with the left overs. 
What I REALLY need to do is ECERCISE!!! Why is it so stinking hard to make myself do it? Maybe I’m just approaching it wrong… I need to change my mindset so that it doesn’t seem like a daunting chore, but instead sometching fun and enjoyable. Maybe I won’t find that (yet) on a treadmill, maybe I need to find a fun alternative. And maybe an accountability partner or something… The problem with relying on an accountability partner is that none of my partners in the past have stuck to it either. So I haven’t gotten much from that. I think my 14 year old would actually be good because he works out nearly everyday and is fired up to do it, and he is really good about getting on my case, regardless of how mean or lazy I’m feeling lol. Another option – a trainer, I can pay someone to keep me accountable…. Which seems so silly to me, I just need to get my lazy butt up and do it! 
I woke up feeling blah, my clothes aren’t fitting right, and I have anxiety over this weeks marketing adventures at work. I’m not at the top of my game, and I hate feeling this way. I’m hoping by next December things will be much better for me. I want to be MUCH thinner and healthier, with way more confidence and able to wear cute professional clothes instead of my frumpy frocks I feel I’m wearing now…. Dare I say I will be at GOAL? Who knows, But I do know that it’s totally possible, even without a thyroid. Business wise I hope to really be KILLING it. I’m not sure if I can be top producer in a year, but that’s my goal. I’m a hopeless romantic overachiever, in pretty much everything I do (expectation wise), it is the bane of my existence.
Time to get ready for this mornings marketing excursions…. My nerves and uneasiness are super high this morning. Be still, my heart… You got this… 💪

Weight Loss

I noticed two things on my blog this evening…

  1. My blog is snowing. And I like it… thanks, WordPress. If it snows in winter, can’t we have rain drizzling in spring and leaves falling in fall? Just saying…
  2. I have a weight tracker count down on my page that I completely forgot was there, and it’s telling me I have 30 days to go until reach my goal of losing 125 lbs by January 1, 2016… Guess I blew that lol…

So what if I only lost 45 lbs and gained 10 back… and still have 95 lbs to go… The only difference is that I WILL make my goal by the end of next year. Though I didn’t reach my goal this year, I do know that losing 125 lbs in one year is totally doable. I just have to do it. There are a few things I did and didn’t do which contributed to my success and failure:

  • The bad – I didn’t start until mid-March, so I lost a few months there.
  • The good – Once I started I stuck to it almost perfectly for 7 months.
  • The bad – I didn’t drink nearly enough water.
  • The bad – I didn’t really exercise at all – the few times I attempted I to workout were short lived and I I didn’t stick to it.
  • The bad – I got off track.

There was really no reason for getting off track other than me wanting to stuff my face. Now here I am a month later struggling to get back on track, feeling full, bloated, and just gross. So not worth it! And such bad timing too, I’m feeling gross right before the holidays, which includes a handful of work parties and networking events, followed by family parties. No fun! If I get back on track tomorrow I will be feeling a bit better within a few days, and for sure within a week… I will be bloated for one networking event and a work Christmas party this weekend, but I may be feeling a tad bit better for hubby’s work Christmas party the following weekend… and I should definitely be feeling better for another work Christmas party and two work events the week after… If I do it now!!

Another problem is I have to get my picture taken for work… of course this comes up now that I’ve gained weight and look puffier than I did a month ago. Sigh!!

This is all part of my WHY. I want to be ready at any given moment for anything – a vacation, a party, a company photo. “Normal” people don’t have to drop weight for every single event, do they? Maybe a little but this is ridiculous. This isn’t the life I want… Yet as I say that, I am reminded that regardless of how much I complain and plan – I don’t really do anything about it. My record is scratched, it just keeps replaying the same line over and over…

I don’t want to be a broken record. I want to make things happen. The awesome motivational speaker Les Brown says that he believes that nobody is given a dream that wasn’t given to them, if you can dream it, you can do it. I believe this to be true… but no dream will become reality if you don’t make it happen!!

I know I got this… I just have to stop being lazy and quit letting food dictate my life. I got this…

 

 

Goals/Restart

Well, it’s been awhile… I’m not sure how bloggers do it – how do they blog every day and have lots of interesting things to say? Goals, I guess… 🙂

Since my last entry not much has changed, sadly. I have lost some weight (give or take 45 lbs depending on the day) but have been stalled for the last few months. About a month ago we went on vacation to Hawaii, I had toyed with the idea of going off my diet while on vacation, knowing all too well how hard it may be to get back on track. I ended up getting off track and ended up only gaining a few lbs… but, a month later, I still haven’t gotten on track and I am now about 10 lbs heavier – and let me tell you, I can tell! I feel bloated and swollen. Nothing is fitting right and I feel like the fat, dowdy girl I was before. I DO NOT WANT TO FEEL THIS WAY ANY MORE. Seriously, life is too short to live so miserably.

I want to lose weight so badly, and not just so I’ll be smaller. It’s the confidence, the energy, the feeling of strength. I like the way I feel and who I become when I’m living a healthy lifestyle. Doing what I’ve been doing to get fat is comfortable and very inside my comfort zone. There is no pain, no stress, no worry when sitting on the couch watching TV and stuffing my face. It’s the easy choice. But its the choice that leads to a fat, unhealthy, unmotivated, self-conscious, mediocre existence. That’s not a life I choose.

I still have a long way to go to get to “goal”, I don’t want to put this off until after the holidays. As much as I love food and love having the freedom of eating what I want, when I want, it’s not worth it! It’s silly to let a certain food – regardless of how good it is – to derail me. How stupid! Seriously, what am I doing to myself? I have one life and one body, why am I wasting it away?

I really got on track with my eating mid March, I probably would have lost more and had less of a stall if I exercised, I honestly didn’t really exercise at all. I thought about it, but never got my lazy butt up. How lame. It’s lame because though I was eating great, I didn’t build a strong foundation to support my healthy eating. If I were in the habit of exercising now, maybe the side effects of my poor eating over the last month wouldn’t be so bad and maybe it would have been easier to get back on track. Not that any of this matters, its neither here nor there, it’s what I do now that matters.

the new year is right around the corner, there is no reason to wait for a month to set new year resolutions. I want to start now, and really, I gain an extra month starting now. 😉

Knowing that I will only get out what I put in, I can either push myself hard and get one result, or take it a little slower and easier and get another result. I want the results from option one, but I know that life always gets in the way, not to mention laziness, so I’m going to pick something in-between.

Goals:

Weight Goal: 175. Exercise: 30-60 minutes 5-6 days a week. Build muscle. Run at least 3.5 miles continuously. Limit sugar and simple carbs.

While I’m at it, my work goals are to triple my business in 2016.

So, the only way to really accomplish this is TO DO IT!! I need to make exercise a part of my life. I need to quit eating junk food and pigging out on so many treats. I want to focus on fresh, whole foods, lots of veggies, fresh fruits, and lean meats. I want to eliminate, or at least limit, wheat, most breads, pasta, etc. If I lost weight and felt good while eating those foods I wouldn’t mind having them in my diet, but I honestly feel like crap when I eat them, I suffer from joint pain, bloating, swelling, headaches, and tummy issues (thunder down under haha).

For work, I need to step outside of my comfort zone and put myself out there. The more I do it, and the more confidence I build, the easier it will become. I’ve already been working on this but need to really ramp up the marketing and networking and make it happen. No excuses!!

So – tomorrow is restart, day 1.

I may not eat perfect, and I WILL NOT beat myself up over it… but I will try to focus on healthy veggies, lean protein, and lots of water, followed by at least 30 minutes of exercise.

That’s it! Easy, right? …

 

My new Low-Carb Gluten Fee Life

Blogging… I suck at it. 🙂

So I am still trekking along on mission to lose weight, however, the chance of losing 125 lbs in one year seems a bit impossible at this point in time. I still have 7 months to go but weight loss is so very slow. It’s so much slower than it used to be when I was younger and had a thyroid. I am happy to say that I have been on track since March 16th and have lost nearly 30 lbs since then. I seem to lose 1-3 lbs a week, all at once. So all week I’ll stay at a certain weight (or even gain a pound or two more) and then swoosh, I’ll lose a few. Which is good and I know they say that you only want to lose about 2 lbs a week…  but the idea of losing only 2 lbs a week not very exciting… however, that’s 8 lbs a month which will be 96 lbs in one year, which isn’t too shabby. That will put me at 211 in one year, which I can live with… and that’s only 29 lbs from my goal. So yeah, I’ll take it.

I have been doing low-carb and gluten free. I have not exercised once, but I am actually feeling so much better that I actually feel like exercising! So that’s a huge step in the right direction. I have the urge to workout again and I even have the urge to run again and even fantasize like I used to about running. Maybe I’ll workout tonight… we’ll see! 😉

I have been wanting to go low-carb for awhile now because I’ve lost weight that way before and felt so good, but once I fell off the wagon it was so hard to get back on. I went gluten free because I found out I have Hashimoto’s on top of my Graves’ disease and going gluten free is supposed to help calm down the antibodies. I feel so much better I think it must be true. I also developed alopecia during the fall and after only 3 weeks of being gluten free I had fuzz growing in! My doctor had said that would happen and he was right. I still have it and have a few new little bald spots pop up but they have not gotten as huge as the original spots. They don’t bother me too bad, the only one I’m really self conscious about is the one that’s right on top of my head!! But I fill it in with makeup and do a little come over and go on my merry way. Life to too short to worry about it. Those who love me will love regardless if I have hair or not. 😉

I can honestly say that the only reason I’ve been able to stick to this (initially) is because I HAD to go gluten free. So I just took it a step further and went all in. I am so glad I did and haven’t regretted it once. I don’t really miss any foods either, I know that certain foods taste good but so does healthy low-carb foods. Finally, after a few years of struggling to get back on track I can finally say that nothing tastes as good as skinny feels. I’m not skinny yet but I’d rather be thin, fit and picky about my eating instead of fat and unhealthy, eating what ever  I want. It’s a no brainer… eating what I want brought me nothing but misery.

Anyway, that’s about it for now. I am going to try to update more often and keep track of my diet and exercise because looking back at my progress always helps motivate me.

Til next time…